For parents, one of the most destabilizing behaviors is their children’s tantrums. This is a common manifestation of children when they feel frustration, fear, anger or sadness.
Their reaction is to scream and cry and even throw themselves on the ground and kick. So, how can we control the child’s tantrum?
Children often use this negative behavior to protest against something they disagree with. Sometimes parents don’t know what to do at this point, so we feel lost.
It is impossible for a child between 2-6 years old to totally avoid tantrums, but we can try to prevent a possible tantrum.
However, some situations are difficult to know what will cause a tantrum and occasionally we find ourselves in a complex situation.
Mother found the most effective advice for dealing with a preschooler’s tantrum. She asked, “Is it a big problem, a medium problem, or a small problem?”
She learned this phrase of Sally Neuberger, a psychologist who she consulted when her daughter was having problems in the nursery. “Among the many tips she gave us, that was one of the simplest and most fantastic,” says the mother.
By asking this question, you are showing your empathy with the child and you are making him feel respected. Recognising a person’s feelings gives a sign of a willingness to connect with him/her.
Children also need to be helped to think and understand what is happening. By asking the question, you involve them to solve the problem and thus can disarm the tantrum. In additional, you help them to develop self-confidence and self-reliance, sayes Sally Neuberger.
That question works for preschoolers because you can think about and evaluate what is happening. Children learn how small problems can be easily solved, medium problems need more time and effort, and big problems, even if they seem silly to us, we need to talk about them more and help them understand that all is not well.
This mom set an example that was pretty clear. Before going to school one morning, her daughter wanted to put on her favorite pant but they were dirty.
Her daughter began to complain when the mother asked, “Is it a big problem, medium or small?” The girl timidly replied: “Small.”
She knows that little problems are easy to solve, so the mother asked her how it could be solved and gave her time to think.
Well, she said the solution was to pick out other pant. The girl went for other pants and the mother congratulated her on having solved the problem herself.
Teaching children is very hard and there’ s no magic rule for it. There are some tricks that work sometimes and can help many parents when they’ re desperate and don’t know what to do.